Bah Humbug, Sort Of, or What I Want for Christmas

'Tis the season for shopping, wrapping, and one-upping. Everyone is trying to out-do one another. We get it, you secretly think you're a professional decorator and better than that mom you're kinda/sorta friends with. But, like, why do everyone's decorations look they are out of a magazine this year? Don't people have work and kids and pets and stuff? Well, here's mine, as of this moment. I think they are amazing.

Speaking of keeping up with the Joneses, almost time for ridiculous Elf on a Shelf posts. God, I hate that thing. If I was a kid, I would be so creeped out by an inanimate object that came to life at night. When I was younger, if dolls came to life, they killed you and everyone in your family (see: Chucky from the "Child's Play" movies). And, lest you think my hatred is a recent development, check this status update from last year. I'm nothing if not consistent.

Despite what you might think, I really do love Christmas. I'm not even railing against the commercialism or consumerism, per se. It's just become yet another excuse for people to compete with their 'friends' about stupid shit by pretending their life is perfect on social media. Look, we all know it isn't, okay? That's part of the reason Amy and I started this blog. We know the kids aren't snuggled in bed (they won't go to fucking sleep), the stockings aren't hung by the chimney with care (because thing two tried to flush one), and momma is not in her kerchief settled in for a long's winter nap (BECAUSE THE KIDS WON'T GO TO FUCKING SLEEP, OMG). And we know this because we know you, and because humans are infallible, and because kids are selfish jerks sometimes. It's our job to raise them to not be selfish jerks (which some people REALLY suck at, but that's a blog post for a different day...).

So, all this to say, what I really want for Christmas this year is for people to stop photoshopping their lives. Be more real and authentic about who you are, and how you live your life. And yes, if you like Elf on a Shelf, knock yourself out (watch out he doesn't). But my point is don't do it because you need to be better than Sally Smith with HER kids and post every god damn picture of it on Facebook, ya know?

PS - In regards to photoshopping my life, I am still going to airbrush my zits out of pictures, though. Adult acne sucks, so bite me.